I've got a bone to pick with you. I know everyone thinks your gig is all about taking pulled teeth in exchange for money while the kiddos slumber soundly. Flying in like an elegant angel and leaving joy underneath their pillows. I know how hard you've worked to make everyone think you're a philanthropist that is just "helping the kids out" - since child labor was abolished in America and all.
But I know the real truth.
I know you're the one who gives them the teeth in the first place too. Opening their tiny little mouths in the middle of the night and shoving them in there - it's barbaric. I hear the screaming; I know it's true. You can't hide behind your frilly little facade any longer. You're just a monster who likes to terrorize helpless children and their parents while they are trying to sleep.
Is this a loan thing? Is the agony and loss of sleep just your sick idea of charging interest? I wouldn't be surprised.
Well, you can have your teeth back - I'll keep my happy one year old.
Sincerely,
Dangerous in Dallas
6 comments:
You guys are genius's! To be able to find the solution to the poor baby's teeth problem at this stage in life is amazing! Way to go!
You should seriously consider writing books...BTW...Tylenol works wonders for those teething nightmares with a good cuddle.
Where do you find these pictures b? I love your clever tooth fairy logic. We have a 7 year old with one hanging straight out... again! But the baby teething is as bad as potty training in my book!
word:
Modistic
Sentance:
I think the tooth fairy is modistic.
Motrin---Ahhhh, my true friend. Bright orange and cheery just sitting patiently in that child proof capped bottle. You even taste good. The children love you almost as much as I do. Almost.
You so make me laugh!
This is seriously one of the funniest things I've ever read. Hysterical.
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